Favouritism in the Workplace: The Silent Culture Killer

Elizabeth Eldridge
Mar 3
3 min read

No one sets out to create a toxic workplace.

But sometimes, culture erodes not because of major scandals or dramatic failures… it erodes quietly.

One overlooked, morale-crushing culprit? Favouritism.

Not the obvious, outrageous kind. The subtle kind. The kind that slowly chips away at trust.

What Favouritism Actually Looks Like at Work

Favouritism doesn’t always look like promotions handed to unqualified friends.

More often, it shows up as:

The same person always getting the best projects
One employee’s mistakes being brushed off while others are documented
Select team members getting inside information first
Flexible arrangements granted to some but not others
Leaders laughing off behaviour from their “favourites” that would earn someone else a warning

Individually, these moments may seem small. But collectively, they reshape culture.

Why Favouritism Is So Damaging

At its core, a healthy workplace culture runs on fairness and psychological safety. When employees start to believe that effort doesn’t matter because relationships will always supersede even the best work, three things happen:

1. Motivation Drops

Why push yourself if advancement depends on who you’re close to? People stop going above and beyond. They do the minimum. They quietly disengage.

2. Trust Erodes

Favouritism signals that rules apply differently depending on who you are, and that performance isn’t the workplace’s main currency. Once trust in leadership cracks, it’s incredibly hard to rebuild.

3. Teams Turn on Each Other

Favouritism doesn’t just damage leader-employee relationships. It breeds resentment between colleagues. High performers feel overlooked. Others feel scrutinized. Some feel protected. Suddenly, instead of collaboration, you have comparison.

The Psychological Impact No One Talks About

Favouritism activates something very primitive in us. Humans are wired to monitor fairness within groups. In fact, even young children react strongly to perceived inequity.

When employees feel they’re on the “outside” of a leader’s inner circle, it can trigger:

Self-doubt
Withdrawal
Cynicism
Reduced psychological safety
Increased stress

Over time, that stress shows up as burnout, presenteeism or turnover. Leaders often misinterpret those signs as performance problems rather than culture signals.

“But I Just Naturally Connect with Some People More…”

Of course you do. You’re human. Leaders will naturally click with some personalities more than others.

The problem isn’t connection. The problem is when connection influences opportunity, flexibility, accountability or access. That’s when culture starts to fracture.

Strong leaders don’t eliminate personal preferences. They’re aware of them, and they keep their biases in check.

How Leaders Can Check Themselves

If you lead people, here are a few uncomfortable but powerful reflection questions:

Do I give the same person stretch opportunities repeatedly?
Whose mistakes do I rationalize?
Who do I advocate for most in senior meetings?
Who gets the benefit of the doubt from me?
Who do I feel frustrated with more quickly?

If your answers cluster around the same names, pause. This isn’t about shame. It’s about awareness.

Start Small Strategies to Protect Culture

You know I’m big on practical action. Here are a few simple ways to reduce the impact of favouritism:

Rotate high-visibility projects intentionally
Standardize flexibility policies instead of negotiating individually
Use clear performance criteria for recognition and advancement
Invite feedback anonymously about perceived fairness
Keep a written record of development opportunities offered to each team member

Transparency is the antidote to perceived favouritism. When expectations are clear and opportunities are visible, morale stabilizes.

Final Thoughts

Favouritism rarely explodes a workplace overnight. It slowly drains it. As I’ve posted before, the most damaging cultures aren’t always hostile. Sometimes they’re simply inconsistent. And inconsistency is actually one of the fastest ways to erode trust.

If we want thriving workplaces, we have to guard fairness fiercely. Because once people believe the game is rigged, they stop playing. And that’s when culture really starts to suffer.

Elizabeth Eldridge is a Psychological Health & Safety Consultant based in southern New Brunswick, Canada. In addition to keynote speaking, event emceeing, consulting services and corporate training on mental health in the workplace, she supports organizations across the country on the adoption of Canada's best practice guidelines on psychological health and safety management. She is the Founder & President of Arpeggio Health Services which provides standardized education programs like Mental Health First Aid, The Working Mind, QPR Suicide Prevention and more.