When Leadership Costs Too Much: 6 Tips for Setting Boundaries
- Elizabeth Eldridge
- 13 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Leadership has a way of quietly creeping into every corner of your life.
You stay late to finish one more thing. You answer emails at night so nothing falls through the cracks. You step in to fix problems that technically aren’t yours because it feels easier than letting them linger. Before long, your calendar is full, your head is busy and your own wellbeing has slipped to the bottom of the list.
Many leaders burn out because they care deeply about their work and the people they work with… and they’re not sure exactly where the line is supposed to be.
Here’s the hard truth: if you don’t set boundaries, your role will happily take everything you have to give. And when leaders are exhausted, overwhelmed or emotionally drained, it affects decision-making, relationships and the overall health of the workplace.
Boundaries aren’t about doing less. They’re about leading in a way that’s sustainable.
Why Leaders Struggle With Boundaries
Most leaders were never taught how to set boundaries. Instead, they were rewarded for:
Being available at all times
Fixing problems quickly
Carrying the emotional weight of their team
Putting their own needs last
Over time, this becomes normalized. Overwork starts to look like commitment. Constant stress starts to feel like part of the job.
But leadership in these conditions is fragile. Here are six quick tips to try:
1. Get Clear on What Is (and Isn’t) Yours to Carry
One of the biggest boundary leaks for leaders is “responsibility creep”.
If everything feels urgent and everything lands on your desk, it’s worth asking:
Does this actually require my involvement?
Am I stepping in because it’s necessary or because it’s uncomfortable not to?
Is it better for me to solve this for someone or empower them to solve it themselves?
When leaders take on too much, they don’t just burn out. They unintentionally block growth in others.
Try this instead:
When someone brings you a problem, resist the urge to fix it immediately. Ask, “What have you already tried?” or “What do you think the next step should be?”
That small pause protects your energy and builds capability in your team.
2. Set Time Boundaries and Model Them Consistently
Leaders often feel pressure to be “always on.” Late-night emails, weekend messages and instant responses can feel helpful in the moment, but they quietly set an expectation that availability equals dedication.
Even when you say work-life balance matters, your behaviour speaks louder.
Practical boundary shifts:
Decide when your workday realistically starts and ends
Use delayed send for emails written after hours
Be transparent about when you are offline and when people can expect a response
A “no-no” I frequently see (and to be honest, have been guilty of myself!) is leaders setting an out-of-office reply on their email but still monitoring and responding to emails while on vacation. This indicates to others that they should ignore the boundaries you do set.
So, be diligent and remember that your team members look to you for direction on what’s expected. You’re not being unhelpful. You’re showing your team that rest and boundaries are part of doing good work.
3. Stop Rewarding Burnout (Including Your Own)
Many leaders unintentionally reinforce unhealthy norms by praising long hours and last-minute heroics.
Comments like:
“Thanks for staying so late”
“I know you worked all weekend, I really appreciate it”
“We’re all exhausted but we pushed through”
These messages may sound supportive, but they reinforce the idea that burnout is the price of commitment.
Boundary reset:
Shift recognition toward planning, collaboration, efficiency and healthy problem-solving. Celebrate work that is done well without being done at the expense of wellbeing.
And yes, that includes how you talk to yourself!
4. Create Emotional Boundaries Without Losing Empathy
Supporting employee mental health is an important part of leadership. Absorbing their stress is not.
Leaders don’t need to fix everything or carry every emotional load. You can be supportive, compassionate and human without taking problems home with you.
Helpful language that maintains boundaries:
“I’m really glad you shared this with me.”
“That sounds tough. Let’s talk about what support looks like.”
“Here are some options and resources that might help.”
This approach allows you to show care without becoming overwhelmed or emotionally depleted. There’s an art to being supportive while maintaining boundaries, and training like The Working Mind and Mental Health First Aid are extremely helpful for diving deeper and building skills in this area (find details HERE).
5. Protect Your Recovery Time Like It Matters (Because It Does)
Recovery is not a luxury. It’s essential for:
Clear thinking
Emotional regulation
Good judgment
Long-term leadership effectiveness
Leaders often tell themselves they’ll focus on rest when things slow down. They rarely do.
Boundary in action:
Schedule recovery time the same way you schedule meetings. If it’s not protected, it’s negotiable. And if it’s negotiable, it disappears.
Sleep, movement, quiet time and personal connection are not optional extras. They are leadership tools.
6. Understand the Ripple Effect of Your Boundaries
When leaders set healthy boundaries, it gives others permission to do the same. This directly supports psychological health and safety at work.
Healthy boundaries help reduce:
Burnout
Presenteeism
Emotional reactivity
Turnover
They help build trust, clarity and a workplace culture where people can actually sustain their performance.
Strong leadership isn’t about powering through at all costs. It’s about knowing when to pause, when to delegate and when to protect your own energy.
Boundaries aren’t a weakness. They’re a leadership skill. And like any skill, they can be learned, practised and strengthened.
If you’re feeling stretched thin, that’s not a failure. It’s feedback. And it might be time to start leading with your own mental wellbeing in mind.
Elizabeth Eldridge is a Psychological Health & Safety Consultant based in southern New Brunswick, Canada. In addition to keynote speaking and corporate training on mental health in the workplace, she supports organizations across the country on the adoption of Canada's best practice guidelines on psychological health and safety management. She is the Founder & President of Arpeggio Health Services which provides standardized education programs like Mental Health First Aid, The Working Mind, QPR Suicide Prevention and more.
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